is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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