Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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