I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
ok first of all what the fuck
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
