i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
