I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
