that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
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If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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