so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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