What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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