Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
