how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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