I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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