I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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