would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
