I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
