Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
