maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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