You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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