I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
