i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
