just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
