Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
