ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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