I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
