Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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