Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
