Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
