so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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