Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
