So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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