Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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