Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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