speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
