Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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