I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
