Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
