it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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