Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
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Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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