so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
