Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize