I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
