Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
