Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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