The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
