Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Found your dick twin last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
