i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
