I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Even my vagina gasped.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
