Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
