I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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