at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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