dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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