How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize