I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
