I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
