When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
