We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
