You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
