yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
another moral hangover. fuck.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
