i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
