Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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