Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
