just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
