The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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