Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
