y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
