CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
