Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Girls should come with a carfax report
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
