Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
