what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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