omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
