Are we in a gay sports bar?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
