When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
