Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
