I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
