i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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