hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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