Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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